A mother that bottle feeds her child goes out to lunch with some friends. The baby gets hungry she pulls out a bottle, she puts the baby in her lap, and she puts the bottle the baby's mouth. While hanging out with her friends and enjoying a light conversation her friend says "Oh that is so adorable." takes out her camera and takes a picture. The friend upload this picture to a social networking site and receives lots of positive comments in response.
If this was a breastfeeding mothers chances are she would be asked to at the very least cover up if not find an empty stall to feed her child(Because eating in a bathroom is sanitary). People would avoid eye contact or give nasty looks and unlikely anyone would caring on a conversation with her while she is nursing her child. Definitely nobody would be taking a picture of it and post it on a social networking site which would have only made more people upset.
What are some of the things that people say to shame breastfeeding mothers?
"It is public nudity"
A breastfeeding mother is far less guilty of public nudity than a woman in a bikini. As a breastfeeding mother I know that there is a really simple way of getting baby on and off the boob with out ever showing the nipple. This is an attempt to shame breastfeeding women into thinking they are some how being indecent with their child.
"It is personal and should be kept private"
Whether you breastfeed or bottle feed this can be a bonding moment with you and your child, but feeding a child is not private, it is a necessity. This is an attempt to shame women into thinking they are oversharing.
"Why do I have to be forced to see it"
Nobody is holding your head in place with you eyelids held open. You can look away, you can hide a social networking post. No one is forcing you to look. You are however trying to force and shame a breastfeeding mother into hiding.
"I don't want my child to see it"
Breastfeeding was meant for children to see. I can't ask my son to keep his eyes closed every time he eats. You are teaching your child that breasts are merely sexual objects at an early age. You are also trying to shame the breastfeeding women by implying she is corrupting your child as she feeds hers.
"It is like having sex or peeing in public"
Why would someone even say this? This implies breastfeeding is sexual or gross. Breastfeeding a child is like you eating a hamburger. Why does this need to said? Don't shame breastfeeding mothers by comparing it to activities you would never involve your children in.
"It makes me uncomfortable"
This may be the most reasonable thing I have heard from someone who doesn't want me to nurse in front of them. However breastfeeding in the back of a car, in a bathroom, or under a hot cover is physically uncomfortable to me and my child. Take responsibility for your comfort, don't shame the breastfeeding mother into taking responsibility for you.
"Why can't you use a cover?"
Most people who ask this have no idea what it means to use a cover. If I use a cover while my son nurses, on a 75 degree day in just 5 minutes he hair is stuck to his head with sweat in 10 minutes he becomes flushed, and cranky. Oh and BTW some kids take over 30 minutes to nurse. Nobody should ever have to feel shamed into risking their child's health just to please you.
With all of this negativity mothers are getting discouraged from breastfeeding. Breasts are made to breastfeed children. To normalize breastfeeding, breastfeeding moms need to continue breastfeeding in public. Most states in the US have laws protecting a women's right to breastfeed wherever she is allowed to be. Being a breastfeeding mom is hard enough don't let people shame you from taking caring of your baby. If someone doesn't support breastfeeding in public then they don't support breastfeeding.
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