Types of Cloth Diapers

One of the most overwhelming things about cloth diapers is the large variety in styles. So I am going to show you the main styles. Cloth diapers have come a long way since the days of large pieces of cloth being held on with some oversized safety pins



AIO:
These being the most expensive I have never actually bought one, but they are know for being the easiest to learn. They are great for grandparents or daycare. All of you absorbent layers are sewn right into the diaper right under the moister wicking material you see on top. They work very similarly to a disposable diaper, not very much learning here. Use just like you would a disposable, but instead of thin clingy tabs you can get these with snaps or velcro (Your choice!)

Photo from Etsy shop Artisans Garden. Check out her adorable collection of diaper and more.

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AI2:
These are cheaper than the AIO. Instead of having the absorbent layers sewn in you snap them in. AI2s can also be used as an Hybrid diaper. Instead of using a cloth insert you could buy disposable inserts and lay them in as well. The one thing I don't like about these is I find sometimes the inserts slide and bunches up at the bottom making them significantly less effective.

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Pocket:
These are comparable in price to the AI2. The pockets are definitely my favorite. These diapers have an opening in the back of the diaper so you can stuff them with your choice of absorbent layers under the moister wicking material used on the inside. The thing I like about these is the flexibility to add whatever inserts you want but still have the inside one uniform material so you don't have to worry about inserts moving around.


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Cover:
This is the cheapest option, and the one most people start off with. This diaper is made of waterproof material typically PUL. This is what you see on the outside of all the other diapers as well. This diaper however doesn't have anything else on the inside. You can easily place any insert in here most people go with the prefolds which is what i have shown in the pictures.

I plan on doing a series of posts on cloth diapers. Hopefully I will eventually answer all questions but to be sure comment below with whatever questions you have.

Circumcision

I have had a really hard time finding the right way to talk about this very important topic, but today I decided to find those words share my opinions.

First off it is probably best to let you know that I did circumcise my son. My husband and I regretted our choice to circumcise almost immediately. It was a hard decision to make and I personally believe it was one we shouldn't have had to make. During my pregnancy I already knew that my hormones and my feelings where running high, and my husband being the sensitive guy he is knew he was more emotional as well. So when it came to making a decision about whether or not we would circumcise our son we set out to only look at the cold hard facts, no moral code or emotions where allowed in this decision. So we set off to find as much scientific facts on circumcision as we could. We saw a lot about how circumcision reduces STDs, UTIs, and promotes cleanliness to reduce infections due to poor hygiene. We decided not to risk those and decided circumcision was the right choice. To be honest the idea that a little boy would be responsible to carefully clean himself to prevent infections terrified me so much, I think that was my breaking point. Circumcision isn't that simple tough.

Your moral code should be considered when making this choice. The moral implication that you have the right to cut part of somebody’s body off of them without their consent and without a life threatening emergency just because you are their parents is unethical. You shouldn't be able to mis-treat your child and your role as their parent because of a slight possibility of health complications. We don’t remove the appendix or tonsils from children as soon as they are born because it isn't okay to remove a part of somebody’s body just because it might become an issue. Luckily it was never routinely done but there was a time when it was okay to circumcise women as well. In 1996 this practice became illegal, but un cut women are far more likely to have an UTI than a uncut man. So why do we do this to our sons?

The anti RIC (routine infant circumcision) community gets under my skin even though I agree with them. Why? They go for very aggressive terms trying to guilt people or shock them into not doing circumcision. Terms like genital mutilation, torture, and sexual violence. I understand that they are just trying to make their message clear and shocking enough to help you understand how big this issue is.  The problem is that it scares people away from listening to you. It also makes people feel like anyone who does circumcise is a monster but in most cases they are just misinformed, or not informed enough. I personally think these terms imply that intent of these parents were to harm their children. The majority of the United States is honestly convinced that circumcision is healthiest for their child. If you want to people to listen to you, you need to have a kind heart.

Like I said before this decision shouldn't be in the hands of parents. The average parent is not a medical expert, they don’t have all the information regarding circumcision and there is only a few short emotional  months to figure it out.  We need to ban this barbaric custom, medically there is no reason for RIC and the risk to the infant can be deadly. The fact the hospitals have been doing this unnecessary procedure for decades without any need makes me sick. We are suppose to be able to trust them with our health not fight them to keep our sons healthy and intact. I know some people would like to argue for those that do it for religious reason. I don’t think parents have the right to force religion on a child especially in such a permanent way. If an adult man wants to be circumcised, he can make that choice for himself nobody has the right to make that choice for him. You do not have the right to claim somebody else’s body.

Child Consent

Teaching children consent in today’s modern world is not only important it is crucial. We have separated ourselves from children so much that often times we don’t even consider them to be people, but rather property or a partial somebody. Property doesn't need to know about consent, when you hand someone one of your possessions you are giving consent to that person to touch your property. Our kids on the other hand are not our property and if we want them to be strong independent adults who respect others we need to teach them about consent as children.

I have seen it more times than I can count, a family gathering is coming to an end and a mom calls out “Sally, it’s time to leave go give grandpa a hug and kiss goodbye”. Sally cries “I don’t want to. I am scared!” The mom picks up Sally and says something along the lines of “You’re fine, grandpa is not scary” and/or “Go give him a hug right now.” We are convinced that we should disregard the child’s sense of safety or control over their own lives in the name of “being  polite. Family members who often want to be a part of our offspring’s lives will fit us with a social standard/obligation we pass on to our children because we feel close to this family member. However the child might not have the same sense of kindred spirit towards them or they might not be as comfortable expressing themselves with physical contact as others. Whatever their reasons we should always respect a child’s (or anybody’s) personal boundaries.

 

No means no. It is that simple when it comes to teaching a child to respect your boundaries or showing a child you respect theirs. Try asking your child if you can have a hug, share their food, or cut their hair. If your child says no, respect them same way you would want to be respected if you had told them no to the same things. When a child is poking your ear and you don’t like it you tell them “no means no” and explain that they need to respect you and your space. When tickling a child, the moment when their giggles turn to them saying no and asking you to stop, stop. Just because it seems silly to you that at one moment it was fun and the next they wanted it to stop doesn't mean you can disregard their feelings. We all have had something that made us genuinely upset and nobody else really understood, our feelings are not diminished by this.

Teaching our children about how consent applies to their own lives will let them feel safe and feel free to explore the world at their own pace. The world is a lot less scary if you know you have the power to say no. This is particularly important to teach our daughters.  I try and avoid gender stereotypes as much as possible, but let’s face it, we live in a rape culture that attacks women significantly more then men. Encouraging communication, setting boundaries and respect of those boundaries has the potential to revolutionize the human race for the better. Teaching this sort of thing to an adult that has had the ability to give consent stripped away from them repeatedly as a child is an extremely difficult thing to do and would be a lot easier if we started treating children like people and teaching these important lessons early.

Fighting the parenting controversy

Parents love to tell other parents what they should or should not being doing with their kids. This can weigh very heavy on new parents who lack confidence in their choices, especially if the topic at hand is controversial. This push to always be politically correct in our society makes it extremely difficult to parent the most comfortable way, even if scientific studies are on their side. What is one to do when faced with the option to either raise their kids the best way they see fit or to avoid upsetting another parent?

My parenting journey has been an eye opening experience for me. I had my first of 2 kids 9 years ago and my second is  o what everyone told me about parenting. Being a first time parent I figured my opinions didn't matter, because I had no experience in raising kids. I did things with my daughter that went against ever fiber of my being. Things like: Induced and drugged labor, breastfeeding on a schedule, Cry it Out, yelling, spanking, not picking her up when she cried, forcing her play independently. These where all things I was told I needed to do for my daughter, these where also all of the things that also made me feel horrible afterwards.

With my son I mostly listened to myself. If a parenting choice made me feel bad, then I didn't do it. It has been the difference between night and day for me. I feel so much more comfortable with my choices and I don't need some book to tell me whether I am doing the right thing or not (however there are many books and science backing most of my choices). The reason why I know my choices are the best for me and my family is because I am happy and so is my family. I don't feel bad when I discipline my kids without punishment, I don't feel bad when I wake up in the morning to see my son sleeping next to me in my bed, I don't feel bad hugging my daughter because it made her sad when she broke my necklace, and I don't feel bad that to keep my 18 month old son comfortable I nurse him in public without a cover.

Now the hard the thing for me is to take these positive things in my life and be willing to share them. This comes back to being politically correct. People assume that if you take these controversial parenting ideals and show them to the world that you could only be doing this for one reason: to "force your opinions on others". This can be a really hard thing to overcome especially when people close to you constantly take offense, but I think it is worth the fight. I won't act like it is an easy fight. I have cried many times because people are offended my choices, in fact sometimes it feel likes someone is telling me that my happiness is offensive. 

  

When I decided to drown out all the negative comments about my parenting and push forward with sharing all the good things in my life a very strange thing shifted in my life. I became a inspiration to others. People started sharing their lives with me asking me for help, or telling me to keep doing what I was doing. Even some who weren't parents yet are planning on using me as a resource when they do have kids. Mom's want to have play dates with me so they can finally have someone to talk to. I think that is something worth fighting my own insecurities for. I am not going to hide my life just to avoid conflict with my family and friends, when I know I can empower someone else enough to be the kind of parent they want to be.